


seven things

by 1011k



Category: BNM BOYS (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band), YHNEXT (Band)
Genre: Angst?, M/M, Sorry I just had to, and fluff, as well as pd101s2, euiseob if you squint real hard, i dont know how to tag im sorry, i just miss them so much, random jinseob, winkdeep if you squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-08-27 16:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16705909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1011k/pseuds/1011k
Summary: Woojin has debuted and Hyungseob is left to mope around and jot down the seven things he misses about Woojin





	1. Seven Things I miss about Cham

**Author's Note:**

> hello i miss jinseob so much so i just had to post this. i originally made this right after the finale of produce 101 s2 but i published late uwu
> 
> chapters are short since this was supposed to be a one shot but i separated chapters for better organization
> 
> also, this is unbeta-ed and english is not my first language so i apologize for bad grammar and typographical errors if there are any

_"Brand New Music, Park Woojin"_

Hyungseob let out a faint sigh as he re watched the last episode of Produce 101 season 2 for the nth time. It was the last time he'd seen Woojin aside from the Produce 101 Top 35 concert which didn't really mean much since he wasn't able to see him directly face to face.

It was such a pity that Seob was not able to get into the final Wanna One lineup but he thought maybe this was for the better since he knew he'd only miss Woojin more if he gets attached (not that he wasn't already) and they disband. He thought maybe it was a sign that he should move on as early as now.

Sad to say, it wasn't working. If being in a different group than him would mean this much torture, he wouldn't want to help himself move on. He only wanted to be with Woojin and his thoughts were clouded with Woojin and Woojin alone.

He missed Woojin, he wouldn't deny that. He missed every single thing about the Brand New Music trainee and he would do even the most stupid things if it meant seeing the latter again. But he didn't want to jeopardize Woojin's career just because of his petty selfishness and neediness so he decided to keep it to himself. Even if he was desperate for contact, even just a teeny tiny message would do, he knew Woojin was busy preparing for activities especially since they had just finished airing the second season of Wanna One Go.

Speaking of the said program, he couldn't help but feel agitated and jealous upon seeing Woojin with their same age friend Park Jihoon. It annoyed him how clingy the two would get, reminding him just how they used to be.  _Our relationship was so much better than that, Woojin._  Hyungseob knew he was in no position to get jealous and that's what angered him the most. His relationship with Woojin was clearly platonic and it seemed like he was the only one who was holding on.

It was hard on him, being the one left behind. It was especially harder whenever he realized Woojin would never feel the same amount of longing. The sleepless nights, clouded thoughts, everything— Woojin would never know how it felt. Hyungseob's longing would forever be unrequited and it was the worst part.

Hyungseob heaved another sigh as he shut his laptop down, adjusting himself so that he was lying face first on his bed. He took his journal from underneath his pillow, opening it before noticing his last picture with the latter. A small bitter smile escaped his lips as he went through the pages, looking for a specific portion of the journal.

_Seven Things I Miss About Cham_

The page clearly said. A tear fell from his right eye, followed by another from his left as he realized just how much he longs for this certain boy named Park Woojin. Sobs followed as he tugged his pillow tight, slightly wetting the pages with his tears.

_I miss you so much, Woojin. I miss you so much, it hurts._

And yes, it was just one of those nights where Hyungseob would cry himself to sleep, wishing to find comfort by the moment he wakes up.


	2. his awkwardness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven Things I miss about Cham:  
> 1\. His awkwardness

_"H-hello I a-am Jeong W-Woojin, the new trainee."_

Hyungseob was flabbergasted, unsure of how to react. This thirteen-year old trainee in front of him simply reminded him of a specific someone. The way he stood, the way he spoke, the way he said his name. Hyungseob felt as if the world betrayed him. It took him months of effort to forget the certain red-haired boy yet it only took a single line to put his effort to waste.

 

The boy's name was Jeong Woojin, very similar to Park Woojin. The way he stuttered and trembled reminded Hyungseob of the first time he met  _his_ Woojin.

 

_"H-hello! I am P-park Woojin."_

_Hyungseob first encountered Woojin on the day of auditions. He wasn't anything special— just a normal eighteen-year old boy who greeted him formally when they bumped into each other at the entrance of the audition venue._ _Who would've thought that the way his lips froze, his eyes shifted, and his hands trembled would catch Hyungseob's attention in a span of five seconds._ _Yes, five seconds. That's all it took for Hyungseob to take interest in the particularly awkward boy. Hyungseob didn't even look older than him but the way he greeted with much respect (and awkwardness) was admirable._

 

_It didn't help how exactly thirty minutes later, he met the same boy at the comfort room who gave him another awkward smile._

_"Hello Woojin!"_

_He remembers how the boy looked at his back when greeted, probably unsure if he was the Woojin he was talking about._

_"H-hello uh—"_

_"Hyungseob."_

 

_He remembers giving his brightest smile as he extends his hand for a handshake, trying to assure Woojin that there's absolutely nothing to be shy about._

_He remembers how Woojin reciprocated the handshake even if his hands were trembling._

_He remembers how they came out together, leaving their fellow Yuehua and Brand New Music label mates stupefied._

_He remembers how Woojin awkwardly smiled at everyone else as he entered the audition room._

_He remembers how Woojin sheepishly smiled as he went out again, calling out the next person to be interviewed._

 

_"Y-Yue-Yuehua's Ahn Hyungseob."_

 

_He remembers how his world suddenly lit up upon hearing his name come out of the latter's mouth._

_He remembers how they exchanged glances as both trainees went to separate ways as they bid each other goodbye._

_And he remembers just exactly how much he looked forward to the second part of the audition process._

 

As Hyungseob snapped back to reality, the new Yuehua trainees were showing their individual performances as a part of the welcoming activity. A girl named Son Yeji was dancing Produce 101 Season 2's Nayana and yes, it felt like everything was against him today. Everything that was happening was like Deja vu. Was fate taunting him? It seemed that way. It was as if fate was mocking him because the way Jeong Woojin awkwardly enjoyed the girl's performance reminded him of how  _his_ Woojin reacted to his performance for the final Produce 101 audition— the audition he had looked forward to.

 

_Hyungseob remembers how early he woke up with the thought of seeing the latter again. It had probably been three weeks and in those three weeks, nothing else bothered his thoughts as much as Woojin did._ _He looked forward to seeing Woojin again. He wanted to see Woojin— no, he needed to see Woojin again._ _He needed to know if the latter would still mumble his name with much awkwardness or if the latter would be the complete opposite of the person he met three weeks back._ _He needed to know if Woojin would remember his name this time. He needed to make sure he wasn't forgotten._

_Five minutes before their arrival at the venue, Hyungseob was excited, expectant, and queasy all at the same time. It was finally the day of their presentation and the thought of presenting in front of other people with the same dream made him feel burdened and nervous. He didn't want to show a so-so kind of performance, no, especially not in front of Woojin._ _He didn't know what was there that pushed him to be this dedicated to impress the latter. He didn't know what exactly he's trying to show and why he's doing it. All that he knows is that he wants to impress Woojin and the rest of the trainees present._

_He didn't know why he was feeling giddy to perform and he definitely didn't know how everything seemed to have switched to a different vibe when they were next to perform._ _He didn't know why he was so nervous and why he felt so wronged after getting a D. He was disappointed and ashamed for only getting that much despite his desperation and amount of practice._ _He didn't know why he cared so much. Maybe it was because it felt like his hard work didn't pay off. Or maybe, just maybe, maybe because he failed to meet his own expectations to impress the certain awkward boy from the Brand New Music label._

_And maybe that just might be his reason. And maybe that's also the reason why he stood up to dance to Produce 101 Girls' Pick Me._ _Maybe he wanted to impress. No, not maybe. He did want to impress._ _He wanted to impress Woojin because he wanted to be someone worth remembering. He wanted to see how the latter would react and he definitely wanted to leave a positive impression._ _He didn't know why he felt so good after the dance. It was as if he regained his confidence and proved himself to be someone special not only to his fellow trainees but also to the trainers._

 

_You know what else he had no idea about? He had no idea why he left with such a big smile after getting a D. No, especially not after Woojin bid him goodbye._

_"H-hey S-seob, you were cool p-performing out th-there."_

_And that was enough to answer his questions. That was enough to assure him. That was enough to explain that everything that happened that day wasn't just a product of his imagination._

 

  
Hyungseob hated to admit but what took him months to forget came back all of a sudden, putting all of his efforts to waste. It wasn't anything to dwell about, really. He didn't regret remembering since he knew this time would come sooner. It was just that he hated getting gloomy and the thought of missing  _his_ Woojin always made him gloomy. This new kid Jeong Woojin reminded him of  _his_ Park Woojin. The awkwardness that Jeong Woojin showed today was something that definitely reminded him of Woojin.

 

_That was one thing he missed about Woojin._ _He missed how Woojin awkwardly enjoyed his performance._

_Hyungseob noticed Woojin's every move and every reaction to his performance. He noticed how he was somehow enjoying although his actions still radiate the awkward feel._ _He missed how Woojin awkwardly spoke to him._ _He missed how Woojin would try to console him and talk to him despite his awkward nature. He missed how Woojin never failed to make him smile even with just one word._ _He missed just how Woojin and awkward are the two words he could combine to make a perfect sentence._ _He missed Woojin's awkwardness._

 

_He missed Woojin so much._


	3. his diversity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven Things I miss about Cham:  
> 1\. His diversity

_"Do you know a Park Woojin?"_

_That was one question that circulated amongst the produce 101 boys. A week into the show and the staff suddenly asked them such question during the interview._

_Most of them would probably say no, with the exception of his fellow Brand New Music trainees of course, since Woojin stayed low-key despite the fact that he's from class A. However, a certain eighteen year old boy from class D knew him._

 

_"Park Woojin? Oh that cool rapper from Brand New Music? Oh wait was he a rapper or a dancer— I think he's both? "_

 

_Hyungseob knew. Hyungseob knew by the time he laid eyes on Park Woojin on the day of company evaluations that he would be exemplary. Hyungseob knew there was definitely something special about this kid aside from being able to catch his attention that fast._

 

_And that was something the rest of the boys had been missing on. They failed to notice such a gem and Hyungseob somehow feels special and lucky that he's known such a fine and talented boy from the start._ _Although things started really awkward between them (and even continued to be awkward onwards), Hyungseob's expectations of the other boy was met. The moment he started dancing during company evaluations, Hyungseob knew it was the sign. How much more when he started rapping? Hyungseob was beyond impressed— it would actually be an understatement to say he was impressed._

 

A small smile escaped Hyungseob's lips as he watched Wanna One's comeback stage with their new title track, Beautiful.  _His_ Woojin was out there, showing the world what he's worth. He was there, impressing everyone with his diversity. What was once a hidden gem had been given the attention he deserves. What was once just  _a normal boy in the crowd_  is now a star everyone's looking up to.

 

Hyungseob loved the sight of him. Seeing  _his_ Woojin reach his dreams and become someone worthy of recognition, it made Hyungseob's heart bounce with happiness. It was as if all the time spent in the dark, practicing to improve and impress, was worth it.

 

_We could've made it together_ Hyungseob thought  _but I'm already contented seeing you reach your dreams even if it's on your own._

_Hyungseob felt proud, seeing this man— his man,_ reaching greener pastures for himself.   
  
  


_Everyone's laughter echoed throughout the room as they watched the newly released episode of Produce 101. Classes had been rearranged already and seeing the process of rearrangement made them feel mixed emotions of regret and happiness._ _It was the latter for Hyungseob. After the class rearrangements, he had been a part of class A, much to his luck, and had more time to get to know Woojin._ _Few more minutes into the episode, the trainees found themselves laughing once again as the original class A trainees tried reaching the note for their song Nayana. It was a certain Busan boy's turn and Hyungseob couldn't help hiding a laugh as Woojin tried his best to hit the notes right._

 

_I guess the world is really fair and nobody's perfect._

 

_Hyungseob thought as he watched Woojin struggling. Hyungseob had always envisioned Woojin to be the perfect person. He was perfectly stable onstage and he had the perfect laugh. He was perfectly awkward and... and Hyungseob realized there isn't anything perfect about him at all. Hyungseob realized it's his mere existence that makes him— perfect._ _By this time, Hyungseob would've realized he was slowly developing a crush for Park Woojin but being the dense piece of ethereal shit he is, he can't even explain, much less notice, his own feelings._

 

 

 

Hyungseob sat patiently as he waited for the next video to play. It was a Woojin fancam during their debut era and Hyungseob smiled as he realized just how whipped he is for his  _best friend. If only he had realized that sooner._ Remembering how in denial he was, Hyungseob couldn't help giving out a bitter laugh. He couldn't help but think of the possibilities if only he had the guts and confidence to actually face his own feelings. Could things have ended differently? Maybe yes, maybe no. But at least he wouldn't feel any kind of regret in the end. 

 

 

_The first evaluation was coming and Hyungseob could feel the pent up stress within Woojin. He was the leader yet he felt like he wasn't helping, Hyungseob knew how he felt and Hyungseob couldn't help but disagree. This is the first time he's going against Woojin and he knows it's for the best._

_It was break time and the two decided to spend their time inside one of the vocal practice rooms— those small little rooms with red doors used for vocal practice._ _This was the first time that they've been alone in such a secluded place and Hyungseob felt some sort of comfort coming from the silence they shared._ _Soon, the silence was broken as Woojin choked out a silent sob, leaving Hyungseob flabbergasted. Hyungseob didn't let any doubt take over as he directly wrapped his arms around the younger, ensuring him that he's not alone._ _He's never seen Woojin in such a vulnerable state. He wanted to protect him, console him, damn he wanted to hug him 'till he's fine._

 

_"I never thought I was this lacking, Seobbie"_

_And Hyungseob would be lying if he said his breath didn't hitch at the nickname but his present priority was to make Woojin feel fine._ _So he held both of the other boy's hands before cupping his cheeks._

_"Park Woojin, don't you ever say that because you're awesome and precious just the way you are. And, and— yes that's it."_

_And maybe it wasn't an illusion when Hyungseob saw him smile._  


Maybe he wouldn't have regretted if he continued his last statement.

"And you mean the world to me, Park Woojin."

**Author's Note:**

> if u wanna scream abt jinseob and just the produce series in general, hmu on twitter @nananiverse


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